When the offence slip attacks...

I sometimes think that I made a mistake in being a prefect.
Whoa...whats a goody-two-shoes like me saying such things?

Well, if you're gonna say 'I-told-you-so' in just a splitsecond, then I shall just pretend that the wall just talked to me. I mean, I hate those four words! Like the time when I broke up with YL last year, my dad was all "See? I told you it won't work out right? Listen lah, next time" and I was like growling at my dad for saying it since it was almost similar to it. Oh well, thanks dad. I really meant it.

My dirty secret in being a prefect is that sometimes I just want to rebel. Like the time I ... ( I don't want to say further incase it might hurt my rep) There are times that I just want to go up to Pn. Ganaser and say that I want to quit.

When I was in freshman year, I didn't know why the hoot I was idolizing prefetcs and wishing I was like them. Then as the years went on, I GREW UP. I wanted to be who I was and I know who I am is not a prefect. I don't like being clamped. Being a spirited artist ( writing, that is ) I suddenly saw the world in a different way and not how I used to gawkishly. I look at myself sometimes and I'm like "Eh cessa! When did you start being so liberal and rebellious?"

I mean, I 'm not like the type that are the kurang ajar kind of rebel but the type that rebels inside. I internalize it and be emo and after a while, I'm okay. Thank God for that. I wouldn't want to rebel so much till I have forgotten my spiritual roots.


I've always been a goody-goody. Let people rule over me and boss me around too much ( I mean, authouritative people are exempted ) till I sometimes forget that I have a life too! People my age sometimes see me as weird 'cause I may be different. I know, 'cause I have overheard some things.....so I'm like 'Okay, since you think I'm so freaky and all...don't bother being a "friend" '


Prefect or not prefect?
I still don't know.

Oh well, I am praying about it and I'll see what HE has to say about the issue lah.