Is there friendship out there for me?

You know what I miss the most?
Having a tight group of friends.

Like four to five people whom you hang-out with, share your ups and downs, friends you can sleepover with and gossip about boys [ I'm not that shallow, but I'm still a girl lah, ok?]

I browse through people's blogs and facebook profiles and I see the same faces in so many photos. Then this bullet of disappointment just shoots down my stomach and I suddenly realise that I'm on my own!

I am not a loner, I am a nomad. A nomad is someone who shifts from here to there and doesn't have a specific group of friends. A loner is someone who is always by him/herself. I like being alone but its nice when you've got your best buddies to share your life with. I'm not clique-ish but being a nomad kinda gets lonely after a while.

Sometimes I look at some cliques at my school, usually during reccess, and I see so much laughter and its as though their super close sisters. And I feel like theres no place I belong.

Then I come up with this conclusion that maybe I'm destined to be alone.
That I don't have to 'belong' and be 'in' but just be my own person. That maybe being alone will do me good. Since I always have a notebook and pen with me, well then that will be my 'close friend'.

I like this quote from Taylor Swift " It's making yourself happy with your life that will attract people. If you don't seem lonely, that's when someone is going to want you".

No doubt. I love my life! Really. You can see it from my face. But its gets lonely when you don't have people who [ for sure know will be there with you through thick and thin]


I have tons and tons and tons of friends. Church friends, school friends, other mutual friends but no one actually is close to me. Just touch base, that kinda thing. What I want and wish I had was close friendships.

Sometimes I have to pinch myself for having such clique-ish thoughts. But is it wrong to think about it once in a while? I hope not.


Oh well, I hope I find some close friends in college.
Once I close the fourth chapter of my life.


"There are 'friends' who destroy each other, but a real friend sticks closer than a brother"
Proverbs 18:24