Pan Mee in Black

Another beautiful picture of the Pan Mee Fellas. Somehow we all have toothy smiles!!
Except the Teh brothers..
:-)

L-R (Top): Rachel, Alie, Josiah, U Shen (Paul), U Wyn (David) and Xing Guo (Thomas)
L-R (Bottom): Patricia, Adie, Joanna, me, Shammah, PING, Sheralyn

The only people missing : Jess Kan, Joshua, Jason and Eugene ( dunno where those two fellas went!)

I wonder whats the colour theme next week.
If it was pink, I would really LOVE to see how Josiah and Shammah would look like!
HAHAHA!
:-)

Another burst of anger

Gosh, I feel so good now.

When you really need to say something thats been bothering your spirit, just say it out. At least I'm not like SOME bloggers who use obscene language and cheapen their dignity! At least I take it out reasonably. Sighh...enough of that.


HMMMMMMM....I've got nothing to say already. Said whatever I had to say.

Never pass up an opportunity to keep quiet so as to avoid putting your foot into your mouth!
GRRRRR...

Sabar, cessa. SABAR...

A burst of anger

I'm not going to be bothered if people talk about us anymore. We're just friends, so what's the big deal? If people want to go ahead and sin by gossipping and spreading gossip, they are answerable to God. If people are jealous because we share a beautiful friendship, then that's they're problem. I've decided not to care about what people think about us already. If they want to spread rumours and dwell in their shallow opinions and conclusions, then I don't give a hoot.

For those of you who hate reading emo posts, then why bother reading my blog??

I apologize for my harsh anger, but its what I feel right now.

Sabar, cessa. SABAR..........

*inhale exhale*

Walk away

I'm walking away from hurt...
I'm walking away from past sins and shame...

I'm walking away from my thoughts...
I'm walking away from the longing I feel...
I'm walking away from the world...

I'm walking towards The One who Created the Heavens and the Earth...

Yup, thats where I'm going...




"Dear God, why am I feeling the way I'm feeling right now?"
" Its OK, honey. Come to Me."
"Will everything be alright? Will I be okay??"
"Trust me, child. You will be."

"Let not our longing for one another slay our appetite for living"
- Jim Elliot

Mindless-ness

Lets see my schedule this weekend:

1. Overnight Prayer in school - Friday : Tongues of fire!!!!! AMEN!
2. Youth prayer - Saturday : I hope I'll be able to make it seeing that I'll be in school
3. Worship practice - Saturday : FUN, FUN, FUN. =)
4. Prefect's Farewell Party - Saturday : Hmmmmmm..... oh well, it IS my last year so I'll just go!
5. Church - Sunday: AWEsome!!
6. Christmas Presentation practice : Double AWEsome!!!

Then, I'm back to school.

Wow, its almost November.

SPM....come to me!!! I can't wait to slap you on the face!

HA!

* so lame!*

:-)

A Steadfast Love

I would give anything...
Just to see you smile...
Just to hear your laugh...
Just to listen to your voice again...
Just to look into your eyes...

I will keep on believing...
That there are greater things in store for us...
That it was by no accident that you walked into my life...
That we will have a future together...
A bright and beautiful one forever...

I should in the mean time...
Wait on the Lord...
Have faith in Him...
Continue to pray for you...
And love you even more...

People can stand in between you and me...
People can keep me from looking at you...
People can speak unbelief into my mind...
But one thing's for sure...
People cannot stop my heart that beats for you...

I will wait for the right time...
Love is Patient...
I will continue to persevere...
Love hopes and believes all things...
Love never fails...

Thirsty

This is the Word I received from the Lord today, October 25th 2009, 11:10 am during service in FGA Selayang:

John 6:35

"Then Jesus declared, " I am the bread of life. He who comes to Me will never go hungry, and he who believes in Me will never be thirsty."



"Dear Lord, I desperately thirst for You. In this dry and barren land where trials and temptations surround me, I want to drink the living water from You. Only You can fill this empty space in My heart..."

A second chance

Right now I'm reading "Persuasion" by Jane Austen. Its a really good book ( of course it is! All Austen's books are amazing! ).

Its about having a second chance at love. The story tells of Anne Elliot who was persuaded by a friend to break off her engagement to ambitious, naval officer Frederick Wentworth - a man whom she loved passionately - because he was poor. After eight years, he returns to her life as a successful captain but is still smarting from the rejection and heartbreak....
I won't tell you the rest of the story.

"There, he had learnt to distinguish between the steadiness of principle and the obstinacy of self-will, between the darings of heedlessness and the resolution of a collected mind. There he had seen everything to exalt in his estimation the woman he had lost; and there begun to deplore the pride, the folly, the madness of resentment, which had kept him from trying to regain her when thrown in his way..."

What I've learnt from this book:

LOVE IS PATIENT.

Stress - tears and sweat (blood included!)

Gosh, my brain is gonna give way.
I've been studying past midnight almost everyday.
Including Physics since I've got no choice T_T

27 more days of hard labour..
9 days of exam...

Then I'm FREEEE!!!!!
Till then, I'm a walking zombie. Don't ask me why I have eye bags and why my hair is frizzing all over the place!

No wonder my hair has been falling off. At least I know its not the Maggi Mee.
:-)








SIGHHH... I guess this last picture SUMS it all up..




GRRR!!!

One letter

Dear Carissa,

Just CHILL, ok? Yes, I know SPM is 29 days away but if you sit and groan about how you wish a giant meteor could struck the earth so you don't have to sit for it, its NOT gonna happen. So instead of moping around, just open those reference books and get your nose into your books!!

Its not too late. You still have 29 days of intensive studying.
Its not the end of the world. I know everybody is counting on you and your parents are so hyper about scholarships, just forget about them for this time being, ok? You study hard, do your best and make God proud.

Yes, most of your friends are such brainiacs but you don't have to compare yourself with them. You're a strong person, you have scored straight As before, so you see?? ITS POSSIBLE!!!

Right now, just focus. Forget the world. Forget your problems. Forget that negative voice in your head. Just motivate yourself. Study hard. Be diligent. And reap the benefits later on, okay?

YOU CAN DO IT!!

From,
Carissa

P.S. Smile!!

BAHHHHH!!!!!

What is wrong with me???

Shouldn't I be more thankful?

Stupid, stupid girl!

I don't know what I want...

So don't ask me...

Cause I'm still trying to figure it out myself...

Sigh...

I wish I knew the sign boards to the road I'm walking on

But I'm just walking...

Pan Mee Family

PAN MEE posers = Green Sunday + More madness



My pan mee sisters!! L-R :Joanna, Alie, Adeline, Me, Sheralyn, Jess ( below)

Pretty people...

Green goblins?? Joshua and Samuel

What a happy happy family of Pan Mee lovers...

Oi ping, you didn't even offer your pau!

Two gays and a pretty girl...hmmmmmm...

L-R: Josiah, Adeline, Shammah

Beautiful.. L-R: Ping, Jess, Pat, Joanna, Alie, Adeline, Sheralyn, Cynthia

below - Manju, me

L-R: Andrew, Joshua, Adeline, Manju, Josiah, Sheralyn, Cynthia, Samuel.

Samuel - syok sendiri, Alie and Joanna - supposedly dancing, Jason and his big smile, Eugene ( Mr. BLUR..)

Told you I had great friends!!

:-)

Diwali fever??

Tomorrow is gonna be a great day.

First up, I've got open house at Sarves, then Dano's and the last, Lisa's house. I'm so glad that I can hang-out with my classmates after school hours. All of them are gonna look so gorgeous and pretty without all the school rules. ( HEHEHE, I sound like a rebel ). Plus, my sister has been shipped off to my grandparent's. :-)

I'm just gonna eat eat eat eat eat and enjoy myself before I hibernate in my room to continue my studying. I can't wait to take photos. I might post it up here if I'm hardworking. Or not, check my Facebook and you'll see it there.

After that, I'm heading off to church. Too bad I can't have lunch with the Pan Mee fellas but oh well, theres always Sunday!! I wonder whats the colour theme this week. Last Sunday, everyone looked so pure and innocent in white. The sunday before that, we wore blue and everyone looked so calm... But the best was the Hari Raya week when we wore red and took pictures.
SIGHHHH...Beautiful memories..


Can't wait for tomorrow.
I've got such great friends.
Wouldn't trade them for the world!!

:-)

L.O.V.E

What do you do when you have...


A pair of forbidden lovers...

A bridge over the calm waters...

And the Bible... ??????

I think I would write a book about the greatest love story ever.

HAHA!

;-)

Espresso drips?

*GULP*

5 more weeks...

11 subjects...

Dear God, PLEASE HELP MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I love Bio because...

How am I gonna promote Biology to all the Form 3 students tomorrow???

Firstly, I'm so honoured that my teacher chose me. I guess its because I really put in a lot of effort to study and score well in my trials, thats why she chose me :-)
And I don't have much of a problem speaking in front of crowds.

I'm not trying to praise myself or anything, but I'm really honoured to be chosen to promote the subject I love. Won't you feel the same way too??

The only problem is that I'm stuck and I don't know what to say. How do I start my talk? How will I make it interesting that the Form 3s will like it?

Why do I love BIO?? I guess I'll start with that.
Then move on from there.

After all, the study of Biology opens my mind to wonder how on earth God could come up with such things as homosapiens, autotrophs and genetic variations?
Its a wonder really.
Indeed, what an awesome and mighty God we serve!!

Hymns and Spiritual songs

My spiritual walk with the Lord has really gone up a new level. Everyday when I have my quiet time, theres always a passage of scripture that will strike me and I know its from the Lord because its so relevant in my life. Because of this new relationship I have with Him, my worship experiences in church have been more meaningful.
Yesterday, after the service, a hymn popped into my head.

"Turn Your Eyes Upon Jesus" - the chorus part kept playing over and over.
And I felt this wonderful peace. I just wept a bit on my seat. I couldn't help it.




Almost as peaceful as a Rose Garden. If ever I could spend a whole day by myself, it would be in a garden full of roses where I can write my masterpieces and just talk to God like how I would talk to a friend. Well, I hope I'll find this place instead of always seeing it in my dreams. And if I find this place, the first person I'll bring to this place would be ...... "you-know-who". *wink*




I'm trusting the Lord for so many things right now. Firstly, its my career. Deep inside I know I'm called to be a writer. Its just that I don't know how I'm going to get there. My parents are so enthusiastic about me going overseas and getting a scholarship. Its just I don't know if I'll have the grades to match that standard. Plus, part of me wants to go overseas, the other part just wants to stay here.

Its okay, the Lord is sovereign. Its not for me to know the times and seasons that the Lord has put in His authority. ( Acts 1:7). So I'll continue to trust in Him.

I still wonder and worry about the future, but I know that my future is sealed in HIs hands.

Its gonna take a whole bucket of faith.

"Turn your eyes upon Jesus,

Look full in His wonderful face,

And the things of the earth will grow strangely dim,

In the light of His glory and grace..."

Helen H. Lemmel, 1922.

21 drumsticks??

If only I brought my camera today to capture that "touching" moment. He confessed that he felt like crying...AWWWW....
Hope you loved the drumsticks and card from the PAN MEE GANG.

We love you too, Shammah!
:-)

Happy 21st birthday. Keep drumming for Christ and keep smiling.

Just don't burp lah, okay??

:-)

Our praise and all we are today..

This song has been stuck in my head the whole day.





"Take it all" - Hillsong United.

How I wish I was part of this concert!
:-)

BRRR...

I don't want to put myself down. I'm not a player. I just happen to a romantic, okay? So why does this thought keep bugging me? I feel so degraded. Its me. I'm degrading myself. Gosh, I hate emo-ing on my blog but I just can't help it! Why can't life just be a little peaceful for once?
Dear God, why do I feel this way?
Why can't I be assured that I am a child of God and that I don't have to give in to these thoughts.
Dear God, I need your help.
I feel like crying.
I'm already tearing in the inside but I need Your stength to be strong. I have to be strong.

I'm not a worthless person. I'm not. I'm not.
My mind is telling me that I am.


I'm gonna explode.

5...

4...

3...

2...

1...

BOOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The Wait

I stood at the bridge, watching the peaceful flow of the river. My insides burst in anticipation, awaiting his arrival. I glanced down at my big black Bible, feeling every corner and exhaling slowly.
" Dear God, please calm the storm in me. I can't chicken out now"
I breathed in the fresh air and looked at my watch once more.
1.33 pm.
Hearing the sound of foot steps, I glanced sharply to the left, hoping it was him. Nope, it wasn't. I gave a small smile to the passer-by then looked back at the river, the trees and the beautiful flowers that decorated the scenery.
A beautiful Thursday afternoon. A Thursday afternoon that would probably bring about cherished memories and happy smiles. As much as my nerves killed the walls of my stomach, I had to be strong. After all, it was just my best friend, wasn't it? Whats so fearsome about that?
Exhaling slowly for the last time, I looked to my left toward the stairs that led to the bridge.
He was there.
The gymnastics in my stomach accelerated even more.
Then he smiled.


-to be continued-

An excerpt from my devotions

"I am the Lord's servant," said Mary; "may it happen to me as you have said." And the angel left her.
Luke 1:38

Then He said to them all, " If anyone desires to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow Me".
Luke 9:23



" Lord, Your strength is a tower
The righteous run into
Lord, Your love is a banner over us
And we hold on to the promise
That Your hold on us is true
There's no other like You,
Jesus

No one like You

Always
Again I say rejoice..."

" Rejoice" - Chris Tomlin.


Dear God, make clear to me Your word. Fill me with Your Spirit.
I LOVE YOU, LORD.
=)

Random

I need chocolate.
DESPERATELY need chocolate.
I need CHOCOLATE.


Sigh, have to study till after midnight!
At least I'll go visit the bridge tomorrow
:-)

''This is my Generation"

I can't wait for the next episode of American Dreams
YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Long Live the Swinging 60s!

:-D

More ramblings...

I can't wait for SPM to be over. Then I can finally go to a quiet place and just listen to the environment. I'm super emo nowadays, its scaring me. I know its not the hormones but its probably my fried brain cause I'm so tired of my mundane life.

I need more colour, don't you think?

I want to go to a place where I can empty all the contents of my mind and live mindless-ly for a while. I have this tendency to think too much and I've got to stop it. I need a chocolate milkshake and more glucose. I need to internalize scripture and speak it out loud so that my ears will ear it.

I need more faith.
I need to look at myself in the mirror and tell myself that I'm strong. That whatever mood I'm in, things are gonna be okay. I just have to hold on to God and have loads and loads of faith.
I'm not alone, I've got good friends. I've got family. I've got PAN MEE.

Then WHYWHYWHYWHYWHYWHY am I feeling this way??

Sigh, why is life so hard????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

My life is so quiet.
Sometimes I feel like dying.
But theres a spark of hope telling me that
"Everything's gonna be alright"
Just keep holding on
Keep climbing harder
God is with me

I'll keep my head up high
Just look forward and smile
At least I know I'm not alone
I've got my notebook and pen with me
I could write the greatest love story ever written
All I need is inspiration and more hope.

I CAN DO IT!!