Two individuals, very much in love with each other but because now isn't the right time for a union, they have decided to wait. Which means;
- Less contact with one another
- Treating each other as brothers and sisters in Christ
- Waiting on the Lord
- Persistent prayer
- Dying to self
Number 1 is the hardest, Number 2 is somewhat OK, Number 5 is the killer.
Questions like these run in my head: What if we're destined for one another? What if God has someone else for us? What if God is calling us to live a single life? What if others are not open to a mixed-race union? What if this union isn't the Lord's will?
Again and again, Galatians 2:20 strikes me hard on the head with a thwonk!
GOD IS IN CONTROL. That's where number 3 and 4 and 5, come into the picture. On the other hand, there are these bunch of feelings that want to take control and somehow tries to persuade you to "follow your heart" and dive into a relationship when your brain is clearly screaming at you to wait and to do the right thing.
"The right thing at the wrong time is the wrong thing" - Joshua Harris
Still, its HARD! Sometimes I just want to get on my knees and cry out loud to the Lord, "God, WHY??????????" and then rip up all my poems that I have delicately written about this young man and throw them away from my sight. For the life of me, I can't seem to figure out my affections toward this young man, for I can't comprehend the thought of a life without him. Oh how my tears flow in the melancholy idea!!
Yet, the Lord, in His grace, will continue to comfort us as we ponder on this issue because we know we're not alone. I'm sure he's feeling the same way about it too and is probably more worried about how the future will turn out, he being a thinker and me having all kinds of emotions since I'm such a feeler. Sighhhh...
Okay then. Looks like theres no conclusion in this matter for now, so I'll just leave this matter hanging and continue to wait on the Lord.
Love is patient. So wait, cessa!! :-)
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