The meow from the exit

"Sigh...lots of dishes to wash! Thank God many people are out on holiday, if not I don't know if I can finish this pile!"
Meow.
Meow.
Did I just hear that? Nah, I'm probably dreaming.
Meow.
Meow.
OK, I better check it out that noise since I'm such a cat-lover. Who knows maybe it isn't Shammah going wild??
Walk two steps. Out of the kitchen and reach back exit staircase.
GASP!!!!
OMG, what a cute little cat! *smile* held by another cute person *ahem*
SO CUTE!!!!!
"See who I found", you smile at me, holding him.
So I walk towards you and go on to touch the little fella while you sit down at the steps.
In silence, we stroke its fur and found out it was a male cat.
Behind me, I hear a camera snap.
Oh...Shammah at it again. Probably will appear on facebook then the whole world will start teasing again. *rolls eyes*
Silence, I don't know what to say.
Been dreaming about this moment for quite some time.
Just enjoy it.
3...
2...
1...


:-)

2010 - yoohooo!!!

It feels great to be back on my feet! Thank God that I decided to let Him take the wheel of my life. Since I'm not living my life as how it should be, I might as well give God a chance, right?

I'm all excited for 2010. Although I'm still looking and enquiring for part-time jobs, I will not let that rob me of a good 3 months of learning, growing and maturing before I head off to HELP for my foundation course (I think its confirmed already though I'm still praying about it) probably in April/May. According to my dad, college life is really going to question my beliefs and my principles, if I'm not careful, I might fall into the "mold" and be highly influenced by the "party-like-a-rockstar" lifestyle and the "if-you've-got-it-flaunt-it" lifestyle.

Although I'm a girl, I still might accidently place my eyes on something too revealing since I heard that girls in HELP have not enough fabric on their body (if you get what I mean). Gosh, I don't know how some girls have the guts to dress up so trashy and skimpy. Its seriously dispicable (no offense!)

Anyway, back to my point. I'm really excited to go for more Scripture Union camps, leadership camps, youth conferences and writer's camps. Its gonna be awesome! Plus, to really get involve in church activities and other projects. Like the upcoming plans of the Lifehouse skit for Easter.

Wow, and more baking! Yay! Finally I can go back to perfecting my cookies and pies that I haven't touched the whole year because of the dreaded exam. And of course, DRIVING LESSONS!! Though I'm not so hot for it yet. That can wait :-)

RANDOM: Gosh, I need some watermelons.


I've got so many books to read and lots of stories to write. I've been writing my Peter Pan fan-fics and hoping for more inspiration for short stories. I can finally go back to being "Miss Austen".

But most of all, I want my spiritual life to build up. The Lord has been doing great things in my life and I've learnt so many lessons throughout this whole year. I yearn to see more of His glory and experience His everlasting love because that's the only love that can satisfy the longing on my heart. I will make the most of my single life serving the Lord and others, hopefully without entanglements.

Blessed New Year, everyone!

"Watching the snow falling to the ground, the little girl beams excitedly while watching the ice rink on full swing with skaters and children making snow angels. Downstairs, the scrumptious aroma of chocolate chip cookies greet her pink little nose. Inhaling the wonderful scent, she looks up into the baby blue sky...
Thank you Lord, for this awesome day.
I LOVE YOU..."

Blessed Christmas, everyone!
Enjoy all the blessings the Lord has blessed you with and have a great 2010 ahead!!

:-)

smile bright!

Just for Kicks

A few pictures that brought smiles on my face:


The multi-racial, happy and jolly family I once had :-)

Two and a half men?

L-R: Shammah, Samuel ( poking in between), Josiah

Three pretty people and the nerd in green. Always the odd one out!

L-R: PING, Joanna, me, Alie

Franklin Morais's two pretty ladies and his nerdy disciple ;-)

L-R: me, Mom, Rachel

RANDOM: I'm not in the mood for pan mee.

Pillows, anyone??

I've lost inspiration to write.

I've lost interest in reading.

I've lost the mood to talk to cheery-cheery people cause right now I'm very emo-emo.

All I do is just house work so my thoughts will be far away.

All I do is stare at the cold morning and wait for the sun to rise.

All I do is hear no sound. Just the stillness of the moment.

All I do is just rely and wait on God.

My heart has frozen up, leaving me without emotion.

When I look at pictures of apple pies, tears fill up my eyes.

When I browse through old photos, my heart cracks.

When I hear songs from the 60s, my mind dies.

Yet in quietness, I seek the Lord because I know He will give me rest.

Yet in obedience, I will still surrender my heart to God because He is greater than my heart.


"Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light"
Matthew 11:28-30



I miss You.

The Oozing Ache

Two individuals, very much in love with each other but because now isn't the right time for a union, they have decided to wait. Which means;

1. Less contact with one another
2. Treating each other as brothers and sisters in Christ
3. Waiting on the Lord
4. Persistent prayer
5. Dying to self

Number 1 is the hardest, Number 2 is somewhat OK, Number 5 is the killer.

Questions like these run in my head: What if we're destined for one another? What if God has someone else for us? What if God is calling us to live a single life? What if others are not open to a mixed-race union? What if this union isn't the Lord's will?

Again and again, Galatians 2:20 strikes me hard on the head with a thwonk!

GOD IS IN CONTROL. That's where number 3 and 4 and 5, come into the picture. On the other hand, there are these bunch of feelings that want to take control and somehow tries to persuade you to "follow your heart" and dive into a relationship when your brain is clearly screaming at you to wait and to do the right thing.

"The right thing at the wrong time is the wrong thing" - Joshua Harris

Still, its HARD! Sometimes I just want to get on my knees and cry out loud to the Lord, "God, WHY??????????" and then rip up all my poems that I have delicately written about this young man and throw them away from my sight. For the life of me, I can't seem to figure out my affections toward this young man, for I can't comprehend the thought of a life without him. Oh how my tears flow in the melancholy idea!!

Yet, the Lord, in His grace, will continue to comfort us as we ponder on this issue because we know we're not alone. I'm sure he's feeling the same way about it too and is probably more worried about how the future will turn out, he being a thinker and me having all kinds of emotions since I'm such a feeler. Sighhhh...

Okay then. Looks like theres no conclusion in this matter for now, so I'll just leave this matter hanging and continue to wait on the Lord.

Love is patient. So wait, cessa!! :-)

A Message To A Lady

The LORD speaks in a quiet and gentle manner,
"Draw close to me,
Let Me strengthen you with My right hand,
Though you walk in a world of iniquity,
you shall not fall,
For I will take your hand and walk with you,
And whisper words of truth and love into your ear

For I have created you a woman,
Fearfully and wondefully made,
For I carved your curves, your hair, your breasts,
Skillfully in secret because I saw you first,
Be in a quiet and gentle spirit,
That is precious in My sight,,
And serve me as how I have shaped you

My beloved woman,
You can never comprehend,
How wide, how deep and how great
My love is for you
Love Me, Serve Me, Follow Me."


taken from my quiet time, 17th Dec 2009, 11.25 pm.

Sneak Peek

Backstage photos from the Christmas event.
"Joy to the world!!!"



L-R: Eugene, Jason, Josiah, me, PING, Rachel, Joshua, Shawn

L-R: Eugene, Jason, Joanna, me, Shawn, Joshua, Rach, PING, Alie

More to come!

Stepping on sand

Sometimes, you've got to keep reminding where you stand on certain issues because they affect your life. Its rather difficult to repress your feelings especially if it concerns the matters of the heart. So, I seem to have strong feelings for this young man. What do I do?
One question I have to keep answering time and time again.

I've tried to keep this question out of the blog because I was afraid people would talk. Well, since its out in the open, I guess it defeats the purpose to hide it anymore, right? Well, I won't be very open yet I'll still be a little open. *confused smile*

I have trouble repressing my feelings. There are days I wish I could confront it straight in the face and say, "Look here, missy. I'm in control, not you!". Because I control my feelings, not the other way round.
Then it hit me.
God is in control. Not me.
"...it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me..." - Gal 2:20


Well, I know there will be days when the feelings will grab a hold on me, but I know God will come through for me. Well, my dad said that God is way higher than my feelings. I'm guilty of placing such high importance on my moods and feelings, probably because I'm a feeler but I the world doesn't revolve around my feelings, so I'm just being so self-absorbed.
And that's not good.


Love is not a feeling, rather a sacrifice and a commitment. I know that God will one day give me a godly affection for this young man and that's when I'll know that I'm ready for a relationship because I finally understand. So, I'll continue to wait on the Lord and continue praying persistently, plus enjoy my single life cause its a gift from the Lord and grow in my relationship with my family and friends.

God will give me the strength to overcome my feelings because I know He'll be there beside me.
I just have to trust in Him.
-True love WAITS! - <3



"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres..."
- 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 -

To that person who loves using profanities on MY SISTER and dedicates her blog in commenting about MY SISTER, firstly, I want to tell you to move on and get a life!

What's done has been done and stop moping about how fabulous you are compared to MY SISTER because you are just insecure.

Nobody messes with MY SISTER.
You want to mess with her, then MESS with me.

I'm getting sick and tired of hearing MY SISTER being bad mouth-ed online and to the whole world. So what if she's pretty and confident???


Do me a favour??
FORGET THE PAST AND MOVE ON!


Thanks.

:-)

His name is Peter

I'm now reading "Prince Caspian", the fourth book from 'The Chronicles of Narnia'. Just started it last night when I came back after an awesome time with the Pan Mee fellas. The people present were Eugene, Josiah, Joshua, U Shen, U Wyn, Xing Guo, Alie, Sheralyn, Ping, Naveena and her sister and Rach. (did I miss out anyone??).

Anyway, back to Narnia. My favourite character will probably be Peter. He's a born leader and knows how to handle irritating siblings ( like Edmund. Can't that guy learn to watch his tongue??). This is something I have to learn from Peter. Being nice to my sibling cause I can be such a meanie to my sister. Plus, he carefully weighs his decisions before acting on them and is humble enough to seek wisdom and guidance from Aslan. Another thing I need to learn cause I can come across as arrogant and a know-it-all. And he's brave to fight the White Witch until Aslan came to his aid. Oh yeah, and the Wolf also (which was his first battle).

The only exception is that Walden Media kind of destroyed my image of Peter. To a certain degree, I'll say that William Moseley is decent enough to play 'Peter', yet he wasn't what I "saw" in my imagination while reading Narnia. Oh well, James McAvoy really fitted my image of Mr. Tumnus, so I guess Walden Media did a good job on him too.

Now that SPM is over ( YIPPPEEEE!!!!!) I can finally sip a mug of Milo and get lost in the world of Narnia. Oh yeah, and re-create Peter Pan.

Gosh, whats with me and the name 'Peter'???


Note : I'm not going to waste 2 hours of my life watching "New Moon", so don't bother inviting me for it. ( This is my arrogant self speaking! hehehe).

Youth and age, O what a vast difference!

I love this poem by Shakespeare.

"Crabbed age and youth cannot live together"
( From "The Passionate Pilgrim, XII" )

CRABBED age and youth cannot live together
Youth is full of pleasure, age is full of care;
Youth like summer morn, age like winter weather;
Youth like summer brave, age like winter bare;
Youth is full of sport, age's breath is short;
Youth is nimble, age is lame;
Youth is hot and bold, age is weak and cold;
Youth is wild, age is tame.
Age, I do abhor thee, youth, I do adore thee;
O! my love, my love is young:
Age, I do defy thee: O! sweet shepherd, hie thee,
For methinks thou stay'st too long.


Sometimes I wish you just would listen and understand how I feel. But you love to force your ideologies and theologies while I'm still speaking. Give me a chance.. Understand why I feel the way I feel. So much for psychology masters, huh?